How much IS that, anyway? Transcript of a discussion with Eldest Daughter:
Wouldn’t life be great if you had more occasions to use some of these?
Fun with Phrases: Think About These
We all know oxymorons such as jumbo shrimp, pretty ugly, clearly misunderstood.
For years I’ve kept a list of terms that aren’t quite oxymorons. I don’t know what to call these—accidental funnies? I’d welcome additions to the list from inventive minds.
- Cement truck: Gets TERRIBLE mileage.
- Wood stove: The ultimate in planned obsolescence.
- School library: Well, which is it?
Misheard Song Lyrics
This particular item was inspired by a post on For a Different Kind of Girl, a blog that reliably makes me snort beverages through my nose.
In the category of misheard lyrics, for the longest time I thought Journey (want to buy Greatest Hits & sing along?), for some incredibly odd reason I couldn't fathom, was singing, "You come to me with broken arms."
That image of two arms in plaster casts reaching out lovingly just didn't make much sense, but oh well, who's supposed to understand rock song lyrics anyway?
And In Closing....
The coolest gift I ever received from a boss was the Oxford Unabridged Dictionary--the version that's all in one huge book you could use to break someone's toe.
Granted, it was given to me by a creepy and possibly psychotic boss who bragged about smuggling a pistol through airport security (this was in the early 80s), and who hated lawyers with a passion that made him send strange letters with derogatory terms about them ("shyster!") written all over the envelopes, making the address all but indecipherable and the letter therefore undeliverable. It was still a great gift.
My fondness for words and dictionaries would be because--as my college boyfriend was fond of saying about my chosen major--I was a cunning linguist.