How Procrastination Is Related to Productivity

I have this theory that you need to have a very special family tree in order to have productivity.

Mama Meditation secretly—or not so secretly—just wants to lie on the sofa in a plushy robe with coffee and a good book. Irish cream smoothes the coffee, the intense effort of reading coupled with the prone position might lead to downward fluttering of eyelids, and a nap ensues.

Each generation has to reject something about the previous generation, so one descendant of Mama Meditation is Brother Action.

This fellow figures that if it weren’t for the last minute a lot of things wouldn’t get done. There are so many things in line in front of that particular project that there’s no reason to feel guilty or unproductive. You’re not postponing, you’re prioritizing.

He has a fraternal twin, Sister Acquiescence, who helps put things on the list.

Their younger brother Justification has many reasons to explain why that particular project on the list can’t get going right now, but perhaps next quarter or before the end of the fiscal year if it’s actually still a priority by the time you get there.

Then there’s Cousin Adrenalin, your favorite visitor as you approach a deadline. In fact, sometimes you invite Cousin Adrenalin in a very special way: By first bringing in Aunt Procrastination, who in fact gives birth to Cousin Adrenalin just before or on the due date.  

This sometimes involves a little assisted reproduction, as it were—without Aunt Procrastination there would be no Cousin Adrenalin, and you’re the one who helps Aunt Procrastination get to those doctor’s appointments.

You know how families are. Once Aunt Procrastination and Cousin Adrenalin are invited to the party there’s no way Sister-in-Law Perfection dare show up, to everyone’s secret relief.

After all, when she’s there no one has a really good time. They’re all trying to be on their best behavior because she’s such a nag. And if Sister-in-Law Perfection isn’t there then Niece Productivity will show up.

Mama Meditation is everyone's favorite but they all know that if she were left in charge there would be no cake for dessert because she’d never even get around to cooking dinner.

If you have too much Action and Acquiescence they ramp up a lot of effort but sometimes create so much activity they can’t actually get things done in time.

No one wants to listen to Justification because they do want dinner.

So they rely on Adrenalin to carry the day yet again, thankful that with Procrastination around there’s no time for Perfection but they’ll get Productivity.